The Chapter on Marriage: Marrying Unmarried People
Marriage in the Islamic tradition is not merely an individual choice, but also a requirement of human nature and a social responsibility.
Marriage in the Islamic tradition is not merely an individual choice, but also a requirement of human nature and a social responsibility. The central point of discussion is whether marriage, as an act of worship, is more meritorious than solitary dhikr or withdrawing into the mosque. According to the source text, for individuals especially at risk of falling into the forbidden, marriage carries the ruling of an obligation like prayer. Today the greatest obstacles before the institution of marriage are economic concerns, late-marriage models imposed by modern architecture and Western lifestyles, and families' unnecessary financial demands. The sustainability of marriage depends largely on fundamental elements such as honest communication, conformity to human nature, and personal cleanliness.
A. The Legal and Moral Ruling of Marriage
The ruling on marriage varies according to the individual's situation. The scholars have addressed three main headings on this matter:
| Ruling | Situation in Which It Applies | | :--- | :--- | | Obligatory (farḍ) | For persons facing the danger of falling into fornication, when this condition occupies their life. | | Sunna | In natural and ordinary circumstances, as the way of life of the Prophet. | | Forbidden (ḥarām) | For persons who would materially or spiritually (mentally/physically) wrong the one they marry. |
According to some views, although devoting oneself to worship may be acceptable in times of trial, human nature in general requires marriage and participation in life.
B. Social Responsibility: Matchmaking and "Marrying Off"
In the Qur'an, the command "Marry off the unmarried among you" (ankihū) rather than merely "Marry" shows that marriage is a social organization.
- The Institution of Matchmaking: The Anatolian tradition of matchmaking has weakened today because people avoid taking responsibility.
- The Guarantee Misconception: Introducing two people does not mean guaranteeing one person's character within the home. Matchmaking is merely being a means to a good beginning.
- Reconciliation: Rather than separating married couples, reconciling pairs who have reached the point of breaking apart over simple causes, and encouraging reunion in revocable divorce (ṭalāq rijʿī) processes, is a religious necessity.
Key concepts
- Obligatory (farḍ)
- If a person faces the danger of falling into the forbidden (fornication), marriage is treated as obligatory like prayer.
- Sunna
- In general and ordinary circumstances, it is the way of life of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him).
- Forbidden (ḥarām)
- If marriage would certainly wrong the other party because of mental imbalance or biological problems, marriage in that case may be forbidden.
- Revocable Divorce (ṭalāq rijʿī)
- The type of divorce in which the husband may return to his divorced wife within the waiting period without a new marriage contract.
- Sound Human Nature (fiṭrat al-salīm)
- Uncorrupted, noble, and right original disposition.
- Lineage (dhurriyya)
- Family line, generation, future generations, and children.
- Coolness of the Eye (qurrat al-ʿayn)
- That which gives peace and joy when looked upon (a spouse or child).
- Reliance on God (tawakkul)
- After exerting the effort required to accomplish a matter, leaving the outcome to God and trusting in Him.
- Chain-of-Transmission System (sanad)
- The scholarly method in hadith science of examining chains of narrators to prove that a report belongs to the Prophet.
- To Abstain (iḥtināb)
- To refrain and keep away (especially from sin and the forbidden).
- Complete Human Being (insān kāmil)
- A person who has completed his deficiencies and reached maturity.
- Principles of Hadith (uṣūl al-ḥadīth)
- The branch of knowledge that examines the soundness, correctness, and sources of hadiths.
Study questions
What is the basic disagreement among Islamic scholars regarding the merit of marriage?
Some scholars hold that marrying is more meritorious than shutting oneself entirely into worship and mosques; others hold that if there is no danger of falling into the forbidden, devoting oneself to worship may be superior.
In the Prophet's hadith "Marriage is my sunna," in what sense is the word "sunna" used?
Here sunna does not mean the sunna prayers of the ritual prayer; it means "tradition, way of life, style, and mode of religious living."
According to the source, what is the hidden but real cause of 90% of divorces?
Although not usually stated openly, the fundamental cause of divorce is bedroom problems and sexual incompatibility.
How is the Prophet's sensitivity about bad breath exemplified in the biography (sīra)?
The Prophet's wives, when they wished to spare his feelings, would say "Your mouth smells." This shows the importance he gave to personal care and not disturbing others.
What is the stern warning reported about those who avoid marriage out of fear of provision?
Because it means failing to trust the One who provides sustenance (lack of tawakkul), it is said: "Whoever holds back from marriage out of fear of providing a livelihood is not one of us." ---